What Kind of Alcoholic Are You?

I am always amused and somewhat saddened when I hear people at AA meetings saying things like "That's just the kind of alcoholic I am." There are three truly deep seated problems with the line of thinking that this comment tips me off to. It's quite comical, but at the same time, dangerous to the individual and to the group to have this mentality.

First off, I think most people use the phrase because they've heard someone else use it before. That seems harmless enough, but one of the biggest dangers in AA is the tendency for people who are in a state of mental recovery process to become "Kool-Aid" drinkers, buying into the group-speak of AA and regurgitating things that others say rather than expressing themselves in their own words and, more importantly, having their own experience. Many people in AA can relate to each others' experiences, and thank goodness for that, but to begin to express your experience in the words and thoughts of others is a slippery slope. For example, what happens if someone you really relate to goes "off the wagon"?

A bit more damaging to the group of AA is the idea that there are somehow "brands" of alcoholism or special alcoholics. Alcoholism doesn't have sects, brands, or types... there is only one type of sloppy, needing-to-recover drunk. There are special PEOPLE who go to AA meetings to stay sober, but their alcoholism is no different than anyone's. The idea that somehow your behavior or characteristics make you some kind of special alcoholic is most certainly a close relative of the ideas that got you into the rooms to begin with... that need to be "special", "better than", or somehow apart from or above your fellows. Your behavior in life may set you apart from the rest, for better or for worse, but it's definitely not your disease.

Perhaps the most dangerous area this statement or line of thinking tips me off to is the idea of separation from the disease, that somehow your disease is "not you". "My disease is out to get me", some people say, or "My disease is doing pushups, just waiting for that day when I'm weak, it's just around the corner, and if I'm not careful, it's gonna get me!" This separation from the disease as though its somehow not a part of of a person's makeup, in some folks, enables them to engage in all kinds of non-sober behavior. If the disease is to blame, and not you personally, its OK to do things we have no business doing as sober people! Just blame it on your disease and you're home free! "It wasn't me that stole your lunch, it was my disease." Or "I had to cut that asshole off in traffic because I'm just that kind of alcoholic." Now, not everyone in AA does this, and not everyone who says these things uses their disease as an excuse to engage in non-sober behavior, but MANY do, and there is no reason to make it easier for them to do so, even if you personally "get it".

I try to be a good steward of my meetings and have struck this vernacular from my vocabulary. Even though some people may relate to it, there is a newbie out there who will not understand.